Yesterday was Mother’s Day. On Mother’s Day, we celebrate all the great women dedicating their lives to the their children, to make sure they are brought up well, putting in all the efforts within their power to support us.

And on that day, I couldn’t help but think of all the mothers, especially those in our culture, who have had to deal with their children’s homosexuality/ transsexuality…

It is much harder for our mothers to deal with our homosexuality than it is for us. WE know who we are, and we realize that we are brought up in a society with a low level of understanding of homosexuality. The impacts of a highly homophobic society and media are within us as we struggle to accept ourselves and gradually make peace with who we are despite all the arguments we face.

This is not the case for our mothers: when we come out to them, they tend to go straight into that same closet we came out of. Now they have to go through the same process on their own, except that it is harder for them since the concept is completely strange to them.

We live in a society where women are underestimated. We live in society that teaches women that their greatest achievement is raising a child and raising that child well. Learning that your son is gay with all the misconceptions that society has taught you means that your entire life is a failure.

It takes a lot of courage to overcome this shock. It takes a lot of effort to learn more, understand better, and accept the fact that your son or daughter is gay. I believe that only great women can bring themselves to deal with that.

Some years ago, I worked with Rasha Moumneh, great feminist activist and friend, on “Ohibbuhum wa Lakin,” a guide for parents of gay and lesbian individuals. It was one of the most exciting experiences of my life, because I was blessed to meet many of these great women.

To these special women, I would like to express my admiration. Whatever your questions and concerns were, you all came to the same conclusion: “We love our kids and their happiness is what is more important to us.”

You all came from different backgrounds, different religions, different social classes… Some of you were religious and conservatives, others were liberals, but you all showed the same courage and love for your children.

I wish I could publish your photos as my all-time heroes, but I know that society will not see you as heroes just yet.

I do believe, however, that I most probably speak for a majority when I say that you definitely are the greatest heroes for us, your sons and your daughters.

To my mother, and to all the great mothers of LGBT sons and daughters, I hope you had a happy mother’s day, and will continue to have warm years to come surrounded by your children in whose lives you’ve made an indescribably positive impact.

That’s how some people responded to the rage that many individuals expressed again MTV’s racist, sexist and homophobic sketches; having lost hope that we can actually change MTV’s position, I decided to respond to people who think that this show is funny.

1-     In a society where  there is still no consensus not to discriminated against women, gays and migrant workers , hearing scornful jokes about them let go inhibitions you might have, and you feel it’s ok to discriminate against them. Furthermore, it is clear that people behind this program are aware of the campaigns lead by the Lebanese civil society and intentionally trying to bring them down ( domestic violence law, migrant workers rights etc… ), the show is not as innocent as you think. Watch all the videos here http://mtvlebanonhumanrightsabuse.wordpress.com/

2-    Do you really think this show is funny? What is funny about repeating the same stereotypical jokes that people have been telling for years now, only people who are completely and utterly devoid of creativity and intelligence use jokes like these in their show. Those who are actually creative will find new jokes that appeal to everyone.

3-    Humor depends largely on the context and audience, if these sketch were made in a different context with the intention of making fun of stereotypes I would probably laugh, The same joke can be funny or not depending on who tells it and to whom. The Lebanese society is not a tolerant society and lame programs like MTV’s “ktir selbi” are just just telling us it is ok to be racist, sexist and homophobic, if you are laughing , then, you are no better.

Last month, I was asked to give a presentation about the history of the LGBT movement in Lebanon, because of the limited time i was given, i could not present all the activities and achievements of the movement, however I did my best  to present major milestones showing the evolution of the movement:

Article 534 condemns "unnatural intercourse" this article is used to persecute LGBTIQ people, the illegality of homosexuality prevented LGBTIQ people from organizing, the internet however did help: a “gaylebanon” group was created in 1998, allowing a group of people to build trust, which led to the creation of an underground group called "club-free”. Club free was a social group; the membership was restricted to trusted LGBTIQ people.

After four years of empowerment and networking, clubfree became Helem, in 2004, Helem was officially registered at the ministry of interior in Lebanon, and the first LGBT center in the MENA region opened in spears street, Beirut.

Barra, the first LGBT magazine was published to counter the negative image about homosexuality in the mainstream Lebanese media.

2005, helem celebrated the first international day against homophobia; the theme was “I Exist”. The message of this day was basic: LGBT people exist In Lebanon and we are breaking the wall of silence.A documentary about experiences of LGBT people across the Arab world was screened followed by a discussion

Media reaction to helem’s visibility was mostly negative except for few newspapers. Saad el din alwazan, member of the municipality of Beirut council, called the government to stop helem from promoting perversion. An investigation about helem activities was requested by the general attorney in Beirut. The charges against helem were dropped …

“chaz” (pervert) was the common word used for homosexuality in the media. In 2006, Helem focused its work on the media, creating new terms in Arabic for homosexuality that many media adapted, Helem’s visibility also increased this year, using the media as a tool to outreach to the Lebanese society. IDAHO that year reflected helem work, the theme was “who is a pervert: homosexuals or homophobic people” , renowned sociologists and psychologists participated in this event

“Rohab al mythlya” (homophobia) was published by helem: LGBT allies, journalist, psychologists and writers expressed their opinion about homophobia. “A book not about vegetables … or bugs. Or cars or travel …” is the first book on sexual health using a rights based approach

For the first time, the Lebanese ministry of health acknowledges helem’s work on HIV/AIDS and decided to partner with helem on a nationwide prevention program targeting MSM (Men who sex with Men). The ministry of Health also opened in Helem one of the 20 voluntary HIV testing centers of Lebanon.

In 2006, helem focused on visibility, Helem was present in major public events, media, universities, schools and religious retreats wanting to discuss homosexuality.

2007, IDAHO’s theme was diversity, the fingerprint represents the diversity and the uniqueness of each individual, for the first time 25 major organizations from the Lebanese civil society participated to this day and voiced their support to helem

After addressing society in general it was important to address families of LGBTs, in 2007 helem publishes “ohobihom wa lakein”, a guide for parents of LGBT. in2007, Helem girls publishes su7aq the fist LBT magazine

In 2008 and after 2 years of cooperation with helem, the ministry of health included decriminalizing of homosexuality in their national strategy, becoming the first governmental institution to call for the removal of article 534

In 2008, Helem opens a space for expression for LGBT people during an exhibition at the art lounge.

After a violent attack by the Lebanese police in Beirut, Helem protests again police brutality for the first time

Helem girls becomes meem group, an LBT support group in the MENA region. Meem publishes bareed mosta3jeil. Short stories of LBT women

In 2009, Helem continues its campaign against article 534 and publishes “homosexuality myth and facts”, answering all the questions that helem was asked during 4 years of activism and social support. Bekhsoos the online LBT magazine was published by meem

Helem released a groundbreaking report on the legal situation of homosexuals in Arab countries, with cases studies from Tunisia and Lebanon. And another study on homophobia in universities and medical institutions

2010’s theme was: yes I am not normal, I am against the sexist and discriminating norms of society

2011, more focus on 534 and a study was published about the amendment of article 534

Blooming of LGBT blogging in Lebanon. Online visibility increased with LGBT media monitor and blogs. Opening of MARSA sexual health clinic.

…. more to come

Once again, Al Jaras has graced us with its amazing journalistic skills to enlighten us with yet another indescribable ingenious scoop of an article that shed light on matters we never would have imagined possible.
Apparently, one of Nidal al Ahmadiyeh’s cronies went to one of Beirut’s Halloween parties. “People were dressed as vampires, you could see blood everywhere, gay men were cross-dressing,” reported the poor, traumatised ‘journalist.’
Dear Al Jaras,
Congratulations! You have just discovered what a Halloween party is!!
Honestly, you did not have to waste two precious pages over that; everyone (except you, obviously) knows that this is what a Halloween party is all about.My dear journalist wannabes of Al Jaras, I will repeat what I mentioned in a previous article:

1) This is not an exclusive scoop anymore. People do party in Beirut, regardless of their sexual orientation. Cross-dressing on Halloween is not something weird, it is entertaining for straight males as well, and does not pinpoint sexual orientation in any way. Beirut is known for its party scene. Your articles are news for you and you alone.

2) Your articles do not scare us. If anything, we are all laughing about how much more morbidly lame you are getting by the issue. To be fair, I have to thank you for the entertainment, actually.

3) You do not need to go to dark underground places to find us and expose our “rituals.” We are everywhere and within every society.

For everyone else who enjoys a sense of awareness and does not need a reality check, check out the pictures of the article distributed on Facebook below:

I recently participated in a meeting discussing LGBT strategies in the MENA region. In one of the panels, an activist criticized what she called “identity politics” and the fact that some MENA organizations are importing a western form of activism, notably by celebrating events such as the International Day Against Homophobia, and she went on presenting an alternative form of activism that she believed would be more relevant to the MENA region (theoretically of course). This alternative activism is based on another western current opposing “identity politics.”

this debate is very important, but I am not interested in defending any of these two forms of activism; my issue is with the fact that some are importing a binary vision of the LGBT movement:

-          You either live in the LGBT bubble (ghetto) and you do not feel concerned by any other issues in society, or

-          You are a “radical activist” who wants to deconstruct all form of identities and change the whole system before working on any specific cause.

Both forms are limiting and inapplicable in our local context, and both isolate LGBTQ activists from the realities of our society, at least in my opinion.

The first tends to transform the LGBT movement into a commercial lifestyle, disconnecting LGBT people from reality and limiting the movement’s representation to mostly young, middle and upper class people living in urban areas.

The second is based on a utopian vision rather than on an analysis of society, representing mostly academicians and young radical rebels who can afford being radical.

Furthermore, working under broader mainstream human rights organizations has made it impossible for us to speak about LGBT and sexual minority issues; in the Lebanese context at least, LGBT issues were never set as a priority, and LGBT rights were never pushed forward in mainstream civil society NGOs until Helem was created and started networking and creating partnerships.

It is important to create a different form of activism in the region, one that reflects our identity, but we cannot build a movement merely by attacking the west and systematically rejecting whatever comes from a western organization.

The celebration of the international day against homophobia (IDAHO) does not mean that Helem adapted the western model just because the initiative is a western initiative (this can be applied to International Women’s Day, as well). Helem has been successful in creating good relations with different civil society members and building solidarity, and this was visible at the International Day Against Homophobia.

I strongly believe in a focused type of LGBT activism that is linked to other causes and movements and is aware of different issues affecting LGBT people as citizens. However, it is very important not to lose focus of our fight and allow it to disintegrate within other issues. We need a movement that is representative of our society and that focuses on understanding the needs of the community, a movement that is willing to improve the system through communication, awareness and field research and work, not through aggressive theoretical statements.

It is not the first time religious authorities try to jeopardize the work of the civil society.

It is not the first time that religious institutions try to hijack the Lebanese society by doing their utmost to influence the legal and the political systems.

The freedom of the association in Lebanon is futile since at any point any religious authority can put an end to any campaign in the name of religion.

Our country is in danger due both to religious leaders as well as political leaders. The latter acting as “protectors” of the different sects will certainly not dare to oppose the relevant religious institutions’ decrees and decisions.

I have often been branded as intolerant to religion. To be honest, I do not care if people believe in unicorns, UFOs or flying green fairies. Personal belief is a private matter that nobody has the right to dictate upon any individual. However, when religion, represented by its corrupted religious authorities, tries to control my life by imposing its absurd rules on me, then I have the right to question these beliefs, and even actively oppose them.

If you believe in human rights and equality, you need to overcome your fear of openly attacking religious authorities. They – just like any and every other citizen – should be held responsible for their decisions, actions, and the ideologies they disperse.

Believing in God does not mean that you should blindly follow what religious figures who represent him on earth say. They are human. They are not infallible. Perhaps it is about high time to question whether or not they really represent the values you believe in.

The relative “freedom” we have in Lebanon is fragile. It can be lost at any given time if we do not put an end to the illegal supremacy of religious institutions that often find it more than acceptable to censor or deny or twist content or events to serve their own purposes.

A draft law presented to parliament asking for the protection of Lebanese women from domestic violence has caused uproar and extreme irrational opposition from religious groups. If something as basic as protection against abuse and violence is that problematic to the religious figures, it makes one wonder… Where does the infringement upon the MOST BASIC personal freedoms stop?

Supporting this campaign could be our first step in demanding our rights as citizens and in our fight to putting an end to the absolute power that religious leaders exercise on our legislators.

For years we have been enduring their censorship, their hatred, and their intolerance; it is time to say that Lebanon is a civil country. It is time to make it clear that although we do not oppose religion and are not asking for its eradication, it just has no place in the creation and setting of our laws. Laws should be secular. Laws should be based on human rights and civil rights, and should be apply to each and every citizen equally, based on their status as human beings, and not on their status as Greek Orthodox, Sunni, Catholic, Shiite, Druze, or any of the 13 other recognized sects within our 10,452 km2.

To support the law and be informed of the next steps, join the Facebook page for the campaign to protect Lebanese women.

This has been one of the top stories of the week.

An alleged Syrian-American 34 year old lesbian with a great blog that has gained so much attention globally has disappeared after supposedly being abducted on the way to a meeting in Damascus.

Her cousin, who (suspiciously?) has access to her blog, posted the following information soon after her abduction: “Earlier today, at approximately 6:00 pm Damascus time, Amina was walking in the area of the Abbasid bus station, near Fares al Khouri Street. […]. However, while her companion was still close by, Amina was seized by three men in their early 20’s.”

Amina Abdallah is probably fake: Fake picture, fake name, nobody that we or the media knows has actually met her, we have not heard any demands from her family asking for her release and the insurance of her safety, and the US embassy does not have any information of her in their records.

But amidst all the chaos and doubts, what has been more interesting to me is the way some people have reacted to her kidnapping – even before the news about “Amina” being a possible hoax.
A comment on her blog read as follows: “Thank the Lord that I’m not one of those who يتبعون زخرف القول
so doesn’t matter how “smart” u r, I’m not going to be impressed by your smartness once u display an act or words that are potentially supporting what is haram. Why would u make your sexual orientation to seem like the most appealing/unique character about yourself?

U are free to be gay, but since u claim that you are a Muslim, u should know that u r spreading temptation by declaring that ur lesbian and making a big deal out of it…”

Another person commented on the Now Lebanon article about Amina’s kidnapping: “Being gay doesn’t make you hero, in fact its people like her that is making being gay so acceptable that soon we will all consider it as normal! It’s okay to be gay as long as it’s in private and that they don’t encourage other people! This post should be removed or i will report it to the authorities”

A woman was kidnapped, possibly raped and even killed, and some had the guts to express their concern about her “promoting homosexuality?” How sick some homophobic people can be!
Amina may very possibly be fake, but she was not the only revolutionary gay girl in Damascus. There are many of them, and I know that for a fact. They are there, and they are actively participating in the revolution, trying to make a change, in the same way that many LGBT people did during the Tunisian and Egyptian revolutions.

There was no difference between LGBT people and others, everyone took to the streets together, citizens of one country, standing side by side, facing the same police brutality, physical harassment etc…. and, finally, celebrating all together the fall of the dictators.
Are these people any less of heroes? Don’t they deserve the same appreciation and the same support any other revolutionary deserves?
Damascus Gay Girl exists. She might not exist as “Amina Arraf,” and may not have dual nationalities, but there are many of her, all working to somehow make a positive change in their community.

The most common definition of secularism would be “the separation of religion and the state.” Under this limited definition, many will argue that technically Lebanon is a secular country since most of our penal code is a civil code and not a religious one, therefore article 534 (for example) which condemns “unnatural sex” (and therefore homosexuality) has nothing to do with religion.

However, secularism as a philosophy and a political movement goes far beyond this limited definition. Secularism means a progressive loss of the influence of religion on society, allowing the latter to go through the individualization of beliefs, the liberation of mores and the respect of private life. A secular state is a state that stays neutral towards all its citizens, and where every single citizen has equal rights regardless of their beliefs and their belonging to specific communities.

Under this definition, totalitarian regimes like those that applied Stalinism and Nazism cannot be considered secular, and that comparison which is made by some activists is irrelevant to the debate concerning Lebanon’s situation today.

Lebanon is not a secular country; no one can deny the influence that religious institutions have in Lebanon over lawmakers, censorship and media. Many NGOs working on women’s rights in rural areas have received direct threats from religious leaders.

Many pro-gay rights politicians and journalists that we approached during the past 6 years had the same reaction: “Badkon rjeil el din y’oumo alaina?!” (“Do you want religious leaders to rise against us?!”) Fears like these would have no place in a secular country.

Secularism alone does not guarantee women’s rights or gay rights, but it establishes the healthy context for us to open the debate without fearing for private freedoms, LGBT rights, women rights, censorship etc….

Unlike the previous initiative to “topple the sectarian movement” whose different representatives did not have a common agreement on the principles of secularism, the “Laique Pride,” taking place this Sunday in Beirut, is the right place for us to push for a healthy government that will ascertain that no community will have the supremacy over another.

I urge every believer in equality, whether they believe in God or not, to join the secular march this Sunday in order for us all to claim our space as equal citizens in the Lebanese society.

A few years ago, hardly any Lebanese mainstream organizations (I am tempted to say none) spoke bluntly about sexual rights; human rights organizations were either concerned with being politically correct or did not think that sexual rights were a priority in the Lebanese context.

Helem (which emerged from ClubFree, an underground LGBT group created in 1998) was the first organization to break the wall of silence by speaking about LGBT rights and causing discomfort and/or excitement within the civil society and activist circles.

In its early years, Helem attracted many non-LGBT activists who found in Helem a potential for change. On the other hand, others wondered if it was the right time to speak about LGBT rights in a country which – to this day, even – lacks any form of sexual rights.

Very few mainstream NGOs supported Helem; others preferred to observe discreetly from the sidelines to see what reactions the launching of such an organization might trigger.  In 2007, Meem, a sister organization of Helem’s, broke another taboo by creating the first space for queer women in Lebanon. Meem continues to attract the attention of many young feminists who have lost hope in the aging “feminist” movement of Lebanon.

Nasawiya, the feminist collective, emerged not long after Meem, creating an alternative space for LBT and non-LBT women and feminists. Regardless of my disagreement with some of their political stands , Nasawiya has definitely achieved something important, and that is opening previously padlocked doors to a new discourse on women’s sexual rights in feminist circles.

Meanwhile, the increasing number of non-LGBT beneficiaries from Helem’s health services brought forward the need for the provision of sexual health services in Lebanon for everyone regardless of sexual orientation. This is how MARSA came into existence. The center is run by LGBT and non-LGBT professionals and is the first mainstream comprehensive sexual health center in Lebanon.

OSE (Organization for Sexual Education) has also recently been founded by former LGBT HIV outreach workers and a group of psychologists and experts in the field of sexual education.

Along with these new organizations, civil society networks have also gradually been adopting sexual rights causes and are becoming more and more inclusive of such matters.

While the LGBT movement emerged from mainstream organizations in many countries worldwide, the Lebanese LGBT movement was definitely behind many of Lebanon’s mainstream sexual rights initiatives.

From the moment the “iskat el nizam” movement (movement to topple the confessional system in Lebanon) surfaced, I was skeptical about the positive impact such a movement could have on the Lebanese society and on freedoms in general, especially taking into consideration the current popular mindset. I was also concerned about the potential danger it could represent to freedoms and diversity in Lebanon if it did not have a clear secular agenda.

However, I decided to give the movement a chance instead of unjustly putting it down. Many people expressed the same concerns as mine.

The recent discussions on the movement’s Facebook pages proved that not everyone supporting the toppling of the political system is in fact secular. And what is even more frightening is that many are conservative, homophobic, sexist and racist fanatics who saw the movement as an opportunity to take over the parliament.

I personally believe that a healthy change of the political system comes gradually, as natural consequences from a secular society (unless we gather an important number of supporters to overthrow all the politicians of Lebanon, which is unlikely at this point). A change of the system in a society in which sectarianism is still strong and thriving can have seriously damaging consequences.

Our fights for private freedoms like LGBT rights, women’s rights and other such matters are not threatened by the political system (al ta’ifieh al siyesiyeh). As a matter of fact, the discourse that every community should be represented in the parliament without the rule of any majority is a positive one. The only issue is that it should not be merely limited to religious communities.

What actually threatens our rights is religious fundamentalism coupled with the interference of religious leaders in the political and lawmaking process, which is not a right that was granted to them by the Lebanese political system. The only way to change that is to make our voice, as secular people, heard by our politicians.

The only reason the current corrupted leaders are in power is because they play on the fear that different communities have from each other. Just changing the political system will not eradicate this fear, so the move is bound to have some obvious shortcomings at this period in time. Thus, a secular country with secular laws (civil marriage among others), is the only long-term process to change the mentalities in Lebanon, enough for them not to feel that they need to vote for the respective leader that will supposedly “protect” them depending on which religious sect they belong to.

We need to raise awareness about secularism and shift the political discourse towards our daily concerns, concerns that the Maronites in Nabaa have in common with the Shiites in the Southern Suburb, etc…

The secular pride expected on 15^th of May 2011, is definitely a better choice for me, hoping that we won’t be limited to yearly march but to move towards a bigger action plan.